I don’t have all the answers to life. I’m not a psychic, or some big time spiritual guru with a beach house in Malibu and a fat bank account telling people that the secret to happiness lies within. But one thing I do know for sure, is that happiness lies within.

The secrets to money escape me. I don’t have fame, nor do I desire it. In fact, I have been given opportunities to become a big time spiritual guru with my face on billboards and a massive following of students, but I turned it down. It didn’t feel right to me. I don’t get the concept of advertising enlightenment. I guess the lour of a mass market has been saved for someone else; someone, perhaps, behind red door number two.

As I sit on my tiny front porch in the sunshine, I admire God’s work. The clouds are amazing. The shadows of bare aspen trees are long across the front yard as the autumn sun sets early. The cool breeze moves the neighbor’s wind chimes to singing for everyone with attentive ears and a distant dog barking just needs a friend, so I don’t mind the sound.

Sitting here I am moved to know Myself. Life tires me. I feel like I am a raw nerve simply re-acting to being hit. The problem is that I seem to get hit often, day in and day out. The hitting never stops. I see it in everyone. We are simply highly sensitive nerve endings re-acting to whatever pain comes our way. It might be a bounced paycheck or a sick child, or even the death of someone we love. And I wonder, how do we stop this? Or can we stop it? Are we meant to? I just know for sure that I want to be larger than life, but I want to do it on my terms. I don’t want to seek fame or the title of spiritual teacher because of some outside stimulus or because of someone else thought it would be a great way for him or her to get rich off me, I want to be bigger than life for myself, because when the day comes that I face God, I want to be able to stand proud and say with confidence, “I did my best.”

I want to live up to my potential and see what I can create from the inside. I would like to approach life from myself instead of from the advice of others. Is this too much to ask for? I don’t know, yet, but I have called the opportunity into existence and I thought that writing about it would assist others in seeing themselves in the same light.

After diving into what I am NOT, I also take the opportunity to look at what I am. I am keeping up with myself. I am a part of all of this. I am me and I am you. My journey is everyone’s journey, I’m simply the one who happens to be writing it down in this moment of Now. Is this what we call a spiritual Guru? Perhaps. You tell me. I’m just taking a lazy Wednesday afternoon to write about my life and ponder the possibility of Me.

I wonder if you’re doing the same.